REASONS
Not to be Sappy
If they were to publish a roster of the 100 Most Fortunate People in the World, I’m pretty sure you would find me near the top. Here is why (in no particular order):
1. I am married to a funny man who manages to pull a 4.13 GPA at Columbia University (he cooks too). Speak to his professors and they get downright gushy. He is not threatened by the fact that my body comes complete with a brain and thinks it capable of accomplishing feats including, but not limited to, doing the dishes. He married me even though he never really got a straight answer to why I don’t like pink.
2. If I wish to vote for Ralph Nader, I can just go right ahead and do so even if it would take more than audacity to hope. . . (this is not an official endorsement).
3. In spite of growing up far out of shouting range of the poverty line, I was able to get an Ivy League education (the previous statement was made possible by Access Group Loan Corp).
4. I am not repressed in any official way (religion, politics, gender, etc).
5. I have a sister who is widely regarded as a saint (but is still humble enough to likely leave me angry messages when she sees this). After living with her for many years I have nothing to say in her defense against this allegation.
6. I saw and heard Joanna Newsom perform Ys. It was two of the most magical hours of my life. It was as if she had set the soul of the universe to musical score and poetry and played it out lovingly on that harp of hers - crooning along bizarrely as needed.
7. I have been to China. If I had 10 vacations coming up (& unlimited cash) I would go to China on all of them.
8. I am, in my opinion, overpaid for doing a job that gives me the satisfaction of making someone’s life more pleasant in some small way.
9. Olive tapenade & a peasant loaf of bread are just a stone’s throw away.
If I were very hypothetically a celebrity, I would say that my kids keep me grounded. But there has been a real dearth of kids around here lately. Here’s what’s been filling in:
1. The mouse colony has taken up a hankering for apples (of all things!). Their follow-up all time favourite pastime is gnawing our books to shreds. Bylers set traps and the almighty Mouse laughs (his GPA possibly surpasses even Darren’s).
2. We have a pit bull outside our bedroom window who believes in freedom of “speech” at precisely the moment when Darren is trying to sleep.
3. Huntington’s disease exists. Working with a patient whose mind and body has been kidnapped by the disease confirmed my suspicion that it is the worst possible diagnosis that can exit a doctor’s lips. If diagnosed I would wander out into the wilderness and live on poisonous mushrooms.
4. We live far from family and friends.
5. 95% of my income goes straight to the moneylenders and tax collectors (if only they would take a lesson from a wee little man in a sycamore tree).
But, as you can see, the bad underwhelms the good leaving me fat and full and fortunate.
Not to be Sappy
If they were to publish a roster of the 100 Most Fortunate People in the World, I’m pretty sure you would find me near the top. Here is why (in no particular order):
1. I am married to a funny man who manages to pull a 4.13 GPA at Columbia University (he cooks too). Speak to his professors and they get downright gushy. He is not threatened by the fact that my body comes complete with a brain and thinks it capable of accomplishing feats including, but not limited to, doing the dishes. He married me even though he never really got a straight answer to why I don’t like pink.
2. If I wish to vote for Ralph Nader, I can just go right ahead and do so even if it would take more than audacity to hope. . . (this is not an official endorsement).
3. In spite of growing up far out of shouting range of the poverty line, I was able to get an Ivy League education (the previous statement was made possible by Access Group Loan Corp).
4. I am not repressed in any official way (religion, politics, gender, etc).
5. I have a sister who is widely regarded as a saint (but is still humble enough to likely leave me angry messages when she sees this). After living with her for many years I have nothing to say in her defense against this allegation.
6. I saw and heard Joanna Newsom perform Ys. It was two of the most magical hours of my life. It was as if she had set the soul of the universe to musical score and poetry and played it out lovingly on that harp of hers - crooning along bizarrely as needed.
7. I have been to China. If I had 10 vacations coming up (& unlimited cash) I would go to China on all of them.
8. I am, in my opinion, overpaid for doing a job that gives me the satisfaction of making someone’s life more pleasant in some small way.
9. Olive tapenade & a peasant loaf of bread are just a stone’s throw away.
If I were very hypothetically a celebrity, I would say that my kids keep me grounded. But there has been a real dearth of kids around here lately. Here’s what’s been filling in:
1. The mouse colony has taken up a hankering for apples (of all things!). Their follow-up all time favourite pastime is gnawing our books to shreds. Bylers set traps and the almighty Mouse laughs (his GPA possibly surpasses even Darren’s).
2. We have a pit bull outside our bedroom window who believes in freedom of “speech” at precisely the moment when Darren is trying to sleep.
3. Huntington’s disease exists. Working with a patient whose mind and body has been kidnapped by the disease confirmed my suspicion that it is the worst possible diagnosis that can exit a doctor’s lips. If diagnosed I would wander out into the wilderness and live on poisonous mushrooms.
4. We live far from family and friends.
5. 95% of my income goes straight to the moneylenders and tax collectors (if only they would take a lesson from a wee little man in a sycamore tree).
But, as you can see, the bad underwhelms the good leaving me fat and full and fortunate.
posted by Darren Byler at 5:40 AM
2 Comments:
It looks like you got up early to post this. I've never seen you fat yet, so I hope I get to see you soon! It blesses me that you like to help make other people's lives more enjoyable. You certainly do that for me!!~Mom
I like it when you post.*
*(Not that I don't like it when D. posts, she falls all over herself explaining for fear his feelings will be hurt since she doesn't know if he is the easily-hurt-feelings sort, which he probably isn't if he's so brilliant)
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