AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Two more weeks of this

I slept late today and messed up Jennifer’s dinner plans. I don’t normally sleep more than 6 hours so I thought I would be safe. Nope. The boss told me I would be missed and congradulations on moving to California. Jennifer says we’re “stepping out into the unknown.” I have to think inside “not really.” Steven Curtis Chapman sang about this more than 10 years ago: ‘Saddle Up Your Horses’ and ‘Go West Young Man.’ Malicious Christian rock songs. We’re handing out our furniture like it’s Black Friday and we are a Wal-Mart in Long Island (a location known for its singular enactments of stupidity) – Just trying not to get trampled. The world seems to get even more sad and chaotic as the weeks go by.

John the tall old Mormon Indonesian with the bad knees and the flatulence was mugged until his whole face was huge and puffy and his money was gone while he was riding in an empty car on the 6 train at midnight on his way to work the other day. John is 74 years old and he has thick white hair like the grandson of the owner of an overseas Chinese tofu factory. He likes John Denver and Britney Spears and collecting broken figurines which he glues. He gives me glutinous rice wrapped with tin foil sometimes and he likes to go swimming in the public pool down at 23rd street. I haven’t seen him for a week now.

I think when we get to California I’m going to make a little circle with stones down by a river and live there for a week like Johanna Newsom. I’m not going to do anything but read Chinese poetry in Chinese, do fanciful etimologies, and eat seeds. That’s probably just a fantasy, but it’s a pretty good one. And it feels good to write it down. One summer when I was 21 I drove in my black truck to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and lived like a solitary nudist for a week under some pine trees. Not sure if that’s completely true, but it’s a pretty good memory.