Saturday, May 27, 2006

Knowing the Inscrutable

I’ve been married to a vegetarian for one year now. This year (the very one we are living in) has been pock-marked with changes in rhythm and mood; growth in awareness of truth and love which we can pull out of the magical ether of life. I have found that it is essential to experience all the times and moods of this place (a place is a community, carved out of the continuum of time-space by language). I can not say how essential this awareness, this fullness of being, is, but it seems to be one of the most important elements of a truly spiritual life. Consciousness I guess. We must not become lost in what appears to be formally constant under the fluorescent lights and blaring sirens of our constructed world – our hyper-reality.

Over the past year I have learned to enjoy the rat that runs startled at the bottom of the stairs leading into the Dyckman Street subway station at 11:18 pm five nights a week as I spill coffee on my sleeve. The way my whistle is repeated by the vaulted ceiling of the Medieval Hall of the Metropolitan Museum of Art at around 3:00 am. Jennifer, my bleary-eyed friend with a big smile, a tangled mass of hair drooling onto the pillow, at 9:02 (the Japanese woman with poorly fitted stilettos clomping down the steps at 9:01). The birds sing as I stretch my legs out under the blankets; my spot as warm as clothes the instant they are retrieved from the dryer. The smell of curry, footsteps creaking the floor, at 5:00 pm.

I sleep, eat, work, yes. But I do much more. I act in the world and am acted upon. I change the world. It changes me. My relationships shape who I am and who I will be. This makes me relieved to have married that vegetarian who lives in the city. As I explore the moods and rhythms of this place which we are constructing, I am learning to love. Learning to know the inscrutability of who in the world she is.

Standing in the first car of the J train, looking out, watching the track snake away every Sunday morning.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

harlin offers sagacious wisdom gleaned by long hours of observation of his left footed fungus

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Hysterical Blindness: Matthew thank you for your assistance in our groping for Truth last weekend

Visions of what is to come: Someday we may become the overmen we dream of becoming

until then I'm happy with sparring and playing at bull fighting